Friday, January 20, 2017

Those feelings.

I just realized I Started a bunch of blogs but never finished them. But I am sure after you read this If anyone does. You'll understand the last few weeks have been a blur. Life has been happening, and I haven't really felt much. So here this goes.

When we left Maryland in May, we knew coming to Louisiana was going to be great! A low key duty station where its busy in the summer, slow in the winter! Nondeployable, or less likely to deploy. But it's the Army, so honestly, anything can happen. And when I say anything, Anything is right.

We knew this election was a significant factor in the Military life. One candidate​ wanted to build up our Military and make it stronger, Not forget the Vets, and help them out.
The other candidate, not so much. Like any American, I know that neither likely President Elected were the "best" and we needed to vote for what was going to help his "career" out the most.
Little did we know, his career was coming to an end. That's right, end.

13 years in (14 in July), 3 deployments, tons of schooling, Trainings, TDYS, multiple jobs he can hold, and he is being discharged.

I didn't mention the fact that he lost hearing in Iraq in 2007. Hurt his shoulder in Afghanistan in 2012, and was injured in a jump in 2013. But with all these injuries, he got up, did his job, never maintained a profile and continued to work his ass off (sorry for my language But I am hurt.) for this Country! While now we get to sit on the couch and watch "entitled protesters" destroy a Country my husband has fought for, for almost 14 years. I also get to read Negative Nancy complaining on Facebook because "their President" didn't win. I get to watch Pro Athletes choose not to stand for the National Anthem and get paid for it. But in a few months, my husband will no longer be serving the Country he has put his life on the line for many times all because of "budget cuts."

Tell me how it's okay, We'll adjust, and we can get a job, and everything will be okay. Because I just love people half ass caring about how our transition is going to be so easy. (I told you my feelings were hurt). My husband has only ever worked for the Army. My husband signed up before he was legally an adult, Why? Because he wanted to fight for his Country and he did just that fought for his Country. Now we are fighting to make sure his Country takes care of him! Because my husband deserves to be medically discharged. Because my Vet deserves to be able to retire and not have to worry about seeing a Dr. for pain, and how are we going to pay for that appointment or medication they may prescribe.
To discharge someone who has worked so hard, gave his Country so much before he can enlist till retirement, is foolish. It is crazy. It is ridiculous. It is hurtful and bullshit!

As a wife, I get to sit here, pick up the pieces and put my hard working husband back together and tell my kids everything's going to be okay.

He may not get what the Government deserves to give him, but we get what God wants us to have. His plans are made, and we just have to follow.

Sunday, October 23, 2016

My Story

Tonight at Church, it was Youth Night! Probably, one of my favorite Sunday Night Services! I love seeing what our Children of the church are doing and what amazing talent they have. We are newer to our church, but are getting very comfortable with our new family and so are our children!
Tonights service was beautiful, but one presentation that stood out most was 'My Story". Each Youth Wrote a struggle in their life on a white poster board and walk silently out while music played displaying their struggle to the church, later turning their poster board over to reveal how God got them through this struggle. The more Youth that came out, I could look around the church and see the tears rolling down everyone's faces. To imagine some of their struggles and how they had the courage to share with the older women and men of the church is powerful. A few that hit home to me was "My best friend moved away, and I felt all alone." and the next one I cant remember how exactly it was worded because I was crying, "I was upset we moved away from my home."
But as they all came out, and were standing up there, I thought to myself what would my sign say? What is my story? It took the dark car ride home and tucking my kids into bed to make me narrow it down. So here is my story and a little about how I found Christ.

At the age of 19, I was dating my now husband. Very early in our relationship we became pregnant. Of course unplanned and very unexpected, but a huge blessing in disguise. An unplanned pregnancy put a strain on our relationship, and things weren't a "fairytale". The pregnancy was fine, and had no issues. At 19 weeks I went into find out the sex and found out more than I expected. It was a girl and I was a high risk pregnancy due to a shorten cervix. At 22 weeks I went into premature labor, and thankfully the doctors and nurses stopped it. My doctor told me at 22 weeks if I wanted to have a healthy baby I needed to be put on bedrest. At the age of 19 going from 8 hours a day at Hair School, 5 to 6 hours at work to absolutely nothing, was the hardest thing I have have ever done. But I knew it had to be done.
My Mom came into my room one day with a pink blanket with a white teddy bear on it with wings and a cross, it snag too. She had told me, that I was beautiful, and going to be a great Mother. That God was in control and all I needed to do what keep praying. My Mom never really shared her beliefs with us, but I knew deep down inside she believed, and I wanted to believe too.
At 24 weeks I was seen in Labor & Delivery again for contractions. They were stopped and I was discharged, After going home, I remember praying. Now I knew there was a God, and I was Baptized as a baby, but we never attended church as a child unless we went with a friend. But I remember praying to God, that I wanted my baby to be healthy, and that I wanted my baby to live. That God need to tell me what I needed to do to keep my baby from coming premature and unhealthy.
I went into labor again at 26 weeks and I prayed again to God asking him to stop it and that if he would stop my labor and make my baby healthy that I knew there was a God and I wanted to follow him.
If you know me, I can be stubborn at times, and I need someone to show me point blank, what is what. My labor was stopped, I never went into premature labor again. I did have contractions and my cervix did thin and dilate more, but I was induced at 39 weeks with a Healthy 7 lbs 9 oz beautiful baby girl named Trinity Rene'e.
Trinity turned a year, and Corey was home on R&R when we worked out our issues and became a family. Looking back on almost 6 years of marriage and 3 kids later, Corey and I wouldn't have been where we are today without me finding Christ. For that I am forever great full! We are blessed, very blessed.

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

It couldn't happen to us

Do you ever feel like everything happens at the same time? When one thing goes wrong, so does everything else? Honestly, I have felt like that a lot lately. My plate is always full. Most of the time its overflowing. No I am not talking bout the plate I eat off of every night.. I am talking about our daily responsibilities and life struggles!

Just recently I took my husband Corey to ER, for what we thought could be a groin hernia. After the care at the hospital, we were sure we had all the answers or even right diagnoses. But what we did know, was something was wrong with Corey and it needed to be fixed. That Corey was in Gods hands and we just needed to pray about it, and he would provided answers and healing. Because our insurance is set up the way it is, Corey had to see his primary doctor before he could see the recommended specialist. After his appointment we knew something was wrong with his prostate. Every time I have ever heard anything wrong with a mans prostate, it was always Cancer. At 30, We all thought, it can't be. He's too young.

His specialist told us, I am not ruling Cancer out, But I believe its an infection. An infection that can be very painful, and can take awhile to heal. Put his on pain meds, antibiotic and said in a few weeks we will see how this helps, if there is no difference we will biopsy it.

Cancer is a scary word. No one believes it can happen to you, or someone you love. You hear about it on the news, you hear about it happening to older people.. You just don't think about it, until it happens.

In our case, it didn't. After many, many prayers and weeks of waiting.. Him cutting out all caffeinated drinks, watching his sodium in take, resting, taking his meds.. We followed up with his doctor today, to find out the antibiotics have helped, andnits not Cancer. Yes, a huge weight has been lifted off all of our shoulders and its a road we avoided going down for now. Corey will continue the meds until the infection is cleared, or the doctor decideds to clean it up with surgery.

30 isn't to young for Cancer, yes Prostate cancer is more common for older man. But it does not mean 30 is invincible.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Random thoughts

I never thought Id be the one to fall in love with a man in uniform. When I met him, I knew what his job was. I understood who he answered to, and where I fell when it came to the Army. But it didn't stop the falling. Boy did we fall hard & fast. Regret isn't something that falls for both of us. I love him, and he loves me! The longer we are together the stronger the feelings get, there is no turning back now! We are in it for the long run! Going on 6 years of marriage, and everyday gets better!

8 years ago, I would have never imagined us living thousands of miles away from my family, having 3 beautiful children, who mean more than anything to us. Living in our 3rd state together, and wondering what life has instore for us next. What you think is happening, may not. What could be a 3 year term, may change. What we thought was something little, may actually be something huge.
It sucks waiting on others to answer all your questions, worries and fears! When all you can do is sit back, pray and wait. But the Army teaches you that, "Hurry up and wait."

Its hard to keep your opinions to yourself, I am not a confrontational person. I am not one to shove my religious views or political opinions down your throat. Yes, I do believe in Jesus Christ and I do believe we have 2 candidates up for President who arent great candiates in my opinion. But sadly someone has to do the job, and I am not cut out for the job either. I am a Mom, a wife, and a direct sales junky. But most of all I am a dependable person who has a heart, that is easily crushable.

I have said goodbye to more friends, family members, then most people. I tell more people that I care about see you later than a lot can relate to. Its hard for someone like me to open up to people, because when I trust in someone, build a relationship, grow close.. Its time to go. I am not selfish, but it hurts to be constantly telling people "see you later" and hoping you can maintain a friendship through social media. Life gets busy, people get distracted and its like your not there anymore, so why does it matter? Sometimes its easier to just be forgotten.

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Water babie

First off excuse the shirtless child. Its like once they walk in the front door clothes are not mandatory!

Why is it that every time we put water in the sink the kids have to play with it? Holden my youngest like to throw things in the water, like the dish towel! Its actually kind of funny at Maw Maw's house its like a battle to see who can get to the towel first! If she forgets to move the towel, Holden reminds her!

The kids love water! Bath time for each kid last like 30 mins! They love to play! If we allowed them, they would live in the bath tub or pool!

Water babies! I guess Mommy & Daddy need to move to a place where we can have a pool all year long.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

The to do list

If your a Mom, or even a women. You know about the never ending to do list! The one that plays over and over in your head at bed time, "Did I do this? Did I do that?"
If your organized your list maybe written out on paper, in a fancy day planner, in an app on your phone. Well this Mom isn't that organized. I mean don't get me wrong, I have a fancy Dollar rack day planner from Target, I have the fun organizer on my phone from Cozi. But my never ending to do list, well thats in my head. I know your all thinking, thats why its never ending.
So I do actually write down my to do list, but normally its after I have said yes too much, added more to my plate that I can handle and I am very overwhelmed. I am that Mom who doesn't like to say no. I want the kids to be able to do and go, but No is something I am working on. With multiple kids in school now and tons of activies comong up, unless they figure out cloning in 2016. Mommy can only be in 1 place at 1 time, and that means someone is being told no. But that also means others needs and wants are being put on hold.
One thing I learned about having children, that never ending to do list will pile up, somethings will become more important than others, things will get shuffled around, but it can always wait. Kids grow up, they grow up too fast. And I don't want to miss a moment of it.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Morning routines

I have been a Mom for 8 years now, you would think by now I was an expert right?
Do they even have an expert level in Motherhood? Or Parenting in general? Well if they do, this Mom of 3 is far from being an expert.

Every Morning I am awaken by kids waking up before the sun rises. I hear about Moms who wake up before their kids do so they can have "me time" or even cook a warm breakfast. If that was the case in this house, I would have to get up at 4 o'clock. This Mama likes her sleep..
Soooo 5 to 530 wake up calls.. Knocks at the door, yelling and screaming at each other or just crying. Better get up before they wake up Dasdy! Up I go, breakfast to be made, lunches to be packed, kids to be dressed, hair to be done. All before I finish a cup of coffee normally.
715 out to door into the swagger wagon, not before I am asked to babysit this weeks favorite stuffed animal while they are away! Everyone is buckled and off we go to school! Dropping them off to a day of fun and learning! Or at least we can hope!