My Story

Tonight at Church, it was Youth Night! Probably, one of my favorite Sunday Night Services! I love seeing what our Children of the church are doing and what amazing talent they have. We are newer to our church, but are getting very comfortable with our new family and so are our children!
Tonights service was beautiful, but one presentation that stood out most was 'My Story". Each Youth Wrote a struggle in their life on a white poster board and walk silently out while music played displaying their struggle to the church, later turning their poster board over to reveal how God got them through this struggle. The more Youth that came out, I could look around the church and see the tears rolling down everyone's faces. To imagine some of their struggles and how they had the courage to share with the older women and men of the church is powerful. A few that hit home to me was "My best friend moved away, and I felt all alone." and the next one I cant remember how exactly it was worded because I was crying, "I was upset we moved away from my home."
But as they all came out, and were standing up there, I thought to myself what would my sign say? What is my story? It took the dark car ride home and tucking my kids into bed to make me narrow it down. So here is my story and a little about how I found Christ.

At the age of 19, I was dating my now husband. Very early in our relationship we became pregnant. Of course unplanned and very unexpected, but a huge blessing in disguise. An unplanned pregnancy put a strain on our relationship, and things weren't a "fairytale". The pregnancy was fine, and had no issues. At 19 weeks I went into find out the sex and found out more than I expected. It was a girl and I was a high risk pregnancy due to a shorten cervix. At 22 weeks I went into premature labor, and thankfully the doctors and nurses stopped it. My doctor told me at 22 weeks if I wanted to have a healthy baby I needed to be put on bedrest. At the age of 19 going from 8 hours a day at Hair School, 5 to 6 hours at work to absolutely nothing, was the hardest thing I have have ever done. But I knew it had to be done.
My Mom came into my room one day with a pink blanket with a white teddy bear on it with wings and a cross, it snag too. She had told me, that I was beautiful, and going to be a great Mother. That God was in control and all I needed to do what keep praying. My Mom never really shared her beliefs with us, but I knew deep down inside she believed, and I wanted to believe too.
At 24 weeks I was seen in Labor & Delivery again for contractions. They were stopped and I was discharged, After going home, I remember praying. Now I knew there was a God, and I was Baptized as a baby, but we never attended church as a child unless we went with a friend. But I remember praying to God, that I wanted my baby to be healthy, and that I wanted my baby to live. That God need to tell me what I needed to do to keep my baby from coming premature and unhealthy.
I went into labor again at 26 weeks and I prayed again to God asking him to stop it and that if he would stop my labor and make my baby healthy that I knew there was a God and I wanted to follow him.
If you know me, I can be stubborn at times, and I need someone to show me point blank, what is what. My labor was stopped, I never went into premature labor again. I did have contractions and my cervix did thin and dilate more, but I was induced at 39 weeks with a Healthy 7 lbs 9 oz beautiful baby girl named Trinity Rene'e.
Trinity turned a year, and Corey was home on R&R when we worked out our issues and became a family. Looking back on almost 6 years of marriage and 3 kids later, Corey and I wouldn't have been where we are today without me finding Christ. For that I am forever great full! We are blessed, very blessed.

It couldn't happen to us

Do you ever feel like everything happens at the same time? When one thing goes wrong, so does everything else? Honestly, I have felt like that a lot lately. My plate is always full. Most of the time its overflowing. No I am not talking bout the plate I eat off of every night.. I am talking about our daily responsibilities and life struggles!

Just recently I took my husband Corey to ER, for what we thought could be a groin hernia. After the care at the hospital, we were sure we had all the answers or even right diagnoses. But what we did know, was something was wrong with Corey and it needed to be fixed. That Corey was in Gods hands and we just needed to pray about it, and he would provided answers and healing. Because our insurance is set up the way it is, Corey had to see his primary doctor before he could see the recommended specialist. After his appointment we knew something was wrong with his prostate. Every time I have ever heard anything wrong with a mans prostate, it was always Cancer. At 30, We all thought, it can't be. He's too young.

His specialist told us, I am not ruling Cancer out, But I believe its an infection. An infection that can be very painful, and can take awhile to heal. Put his on pain meds, antibiotic and said in a few weeks we will see how this helps, if there is no difference we will biopsy it.

Cancer is a scary word. No one believes it can happen to you, or someone you love. You hear about it on the news, you hear about it happening to older people.. You just don't think about it, until it happens.

In our case, it didn't. After many, many prayers and weeks of waiting.. Him cutting out all caffeinated drinks, watching his sodium in take, resting, taking his meds.. We followed up with his doctor today, to find out the antibiotics have helped, andnits not Cancer. Yes, a huge weight has been lifted off all of our shoulders and its a road we avoided going down for now. Corey will continue the meds until the infection is cleared, or the doctor decideds to clean it up with surgery.

30 isn't to young for Cancer, yes Prostate cancer is more common for older man. But it does not mean 30 is invincible.

Random thoughts

I never thought Id be the one to fall in love with a man in uniform. When I met him, I knew what his job was. I understood who he answered to, and where I fell when it came to the Army. But it didn't stop the falling. Boy did we fall hard & fast. Regret isn't something that falls for both of us. I love him, and he loves me! The longer we are together the stronger the feelings get, there is no turning back now! We are in it for the long run! Going on 6 years of marriage, and everyday gets better!

8 years ago, I would have never imagined us living thousands of miles away from my family, having 3 beautiful children, who mean more than anything to us. Living in our 3rd state together, and wondering what life has instore for us next. What you think is happening, may not. What could be a 3 year term, may change. What we thought was something little, may actually be something huge.
It sucks waiting on others to answer all your questions, worries and fears! When all you can do is sit back, pray and wait. But the Army teaches you that, "Hurry up and wait."

Its hard to keep your opinions to yourself, I am not a confrontational person. I am not one to shove my religious views or political opinions down your throat. Yes, I do believe in Jesus Christ and I do believe we have 2 candidates up for President who arent great candiates in my opinion. But sadly someone has to do the job, and I am not cut out for the job either. I am a Mom, a wife, and a direct sales junky. But most of all I am a dependable person who has a heart, that is easily crushable.

I have said goodbye to more friends, family members, then most people. I tell more people that I care about see you later than a lot can relate to. Its hard for someone like me to open up to people, because when I trust in someone, build a relationship, grow close.. Its time to go. I am not selfish, but it hurts to be constantly telling people "see you later" and hoping you can maintain a friendship through social media. Life gets busy, people get distracted and its like your not there anymore, so why does it matter? Sometimes its easier to just be forgotten.